an update to that IEP meeting

An update to this post.

Most of the meeting went pretty well, they all agreed he's very smart, and were focusing on him becoming more independent. Instead of focusing on him using pecs, were moving towards him initiating conversation. Yes the little boy one of his speech therapist gave up on, is becoming so verbal that were hoping he will initiating conversations.

Here he's singing Jingle Bells

The only big problem I had in any of this, was that in order to comfort me, they told me about another kid that reminds them of Caiden. He's now in the 11th grade and only needs a para to walk him to two of his classes. There was exactly no part of me that ever imagined him needing a para to walk him to class when he was 16. I guess it was just a hard reality check, I always figured that hopefully with the right medication, and as he grew older that the elopement would be a rare thing. How to do you even begin to realize that your child will still be walked to class, at the same age I was getting in my first Car accident, dating, i'd been working for 2 years by 16. I know that his future is a different one that I had planned, or dreamed, but its still a rough realization every time that he is different.

Hopefully this is another one of those things, he proves them wrong at.

I will probably be single forever, and that's okay.

When I was growing up, all I wanted in life was to be a mother, and a wife. In school they would always give you those "where do you see yourself in 10 years" assignments. I sometimes wonder as an adult why that wasn't more alarming to the teachers, but maybe the world was not as feminist friendly back then. I did get pregnant pretty young ( I timed it perfectly to be 8 months pregnant with Caiden when I turned 21, it was a real party) but defiantly did not get married. My ex and I officially broke up for the last time (although I didn't know if until years later) during my pregnancy with Jake. Here I was a single mother of 2 kids, which limited my dating pool majorly, and then having a child with special needs, it is impossible for me to give time to someone to properly for a relationship.

For a long period of time this was depressing to me, it wasnt part of the plan. I was supposed to be married, I was supposed to have someone that I could depend on and not face all of this alone. The thing i've realized in life is that nothing goes as I plan. My child having Autism was not in the plans either, and I realize that I was given different plans all together. I don't need a partner, or a house with a white picket fence, I will take my house with rainbow colored puzzle pieces any day! Besides I already found the loves of my life, Wine and Netflix. Obviously my children are the loves of my lives, no guy will ever treat me better than them. My 3 year old will just come up and tell me I'm pretty, or ask me to dance, also he tells me 30 times a day I'm his best friend and like in the movies, he even asks if he can kiss me. His future girlfriend (or boyfriend, I'm a judge free mommy) can thank me for it later. Caiden not to be outdone is the strong, silent type. He never talks back, never tries to fight me because we both know I'm right anyways, plus he's got the most beautiful eyes you have ever seen. There is no way a man could come close to topping them, so why even bother.

I'm not saying if a Marvel Chris (Hemsworth, Evans, Pratt) type came to my door to sweep me off my feet, and they were wonderful with my kids, that I wouldn't be open to giving it a shot. I'm just saying that if I end up alone in love, I'm okay with it.

Call me :)